How Sesshoumaru Stole Tessaiga
by xgossamerstars
Summary: The he got an idea. An awful idea. Fluffy got a wonderful, awful idea.


Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha, and I don't own How The Grinch Stole Christmas.

**A/N: Written ages ago. I changed the format around.**

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Inuyasha no nakama  
Loved Tessaiga a lot  
But Fluffy  
Who didn't have the sword  
Did NOT!  
Sesshoumaru hated Tessaiga  
The whole freaking sword  
Want to know why?  
Well, here we go, oh Lord…  
It could have been his missing arm on the right  
It could be perhaps  
Tensaiga couldn't fight  
But I think the most likely reason of all:  
Inuyasha got the sword at his father's fall  
But whatever the reason  
His arm or his brother  
He stood there every day, hating the other  
Staring down from the sky with a sour Fluffy frown  
At the bright shiny sword in Kaeda's town  
For he knew his brother down far below  
Was busy now, dealing a blow  
"And he's beating the demon!" he snarled with a sneer.  
"He'll fight Naraku and won't even fear"  
Then he growled, his Fluffy fingers nervously drumming  
"I must stop my brother's power from coming"  
For one day he knew Inuyasha and friends  
Would figure out more than the Scar of the Winds  
And then! Oh the shame! Shame! Shame! Shame!  
That's what he didn't want; the SHAME!  
SHAME SHAME SHAME!  
Then Inuyasha, young and bold, would become a beast What a beast! What a beast!  
What a BEAST BEAST BEAST BEAST!  
And Fluffy would be beat, just because of a piece  
Of their father's mouth; the swords were his teeth!  
And then  
He'd do something Fluffy liked least of all  
Every friend and Inuyasha, the tall and the small  
Would stand together at the sight so baffling  
They'd stand in a group.  
And the friends would start LAUGHING.  
They'd laugh  
And they'd laugh  
And they'd LAUGH LAUGH LAUGH LAUGH.  
And the more Fluffy thought of this Inuyasha laugh  
The more Fluffy thought, "I must take the whole thing!  
Why, for so manyyears I've put up with this now!  
I must take Tessaiga from him; but how"  
The he got an idea.  
An awful idea.  
Fluffy got a wonderful, awful idea.  
"I know just what to do!" Fluffy laughed in his mirth.  
And he made a quick Kagome blouse and a skirt.  
And he chuckled, and clucked, "What a great, great day!  
With this blouse and skirt, I look just like Kagome!  
All I need is a fox"  
Fluffy looked around.  
But, since Shippo was smart, he was nowhere to be found.  
Did that stop old Fluffy?  
No!  
Fluffy simply said,  
"If I can't find a fox…I'll make one instead"  
So he called his servant Jaken.  
Then he took some red fur.  
And tied a big bun while Jaken cried "YES FLUFFY SIR!"  
Then he fought a demon  
And took its right arm  
Dyed his silver hair black  
And set off for Kaeda's farm.  
Then Fluffy said, "HAHA!"  
And Jaken hurried up  
Toward the huts where Inuyasha  
Lay snoozing like a pup.  
Miroku's eyes were shut.  
Quiet breath filled the air.  
Kagome was dreaming sweet dreams without care  
When Sesshomaru came upon the girl so fair.  
"I must get rid of her first," the old Fluffy-girl hissed.  
And he grabbed her throat; his aim hadn't missed.  
She clawed at his hands; a painful small thing  
But Sesshoumaru could do it, he was Jaken's king.  
She cried only once, for a moment or two  
Sesshoumaru laughed and taunted, "Boohoo!"  
Now the little fox demon slept quiet nearby  
"This little thing," he grinned, "Is the next one to die"  
Then he grabbed and twisted, with a smile evil as heck  
And broke the fox demon's tiny little neck.  
Mushrooms! And ramen! Soda cans! Gum!  
Scratched floorboards! A bicycle! Doritos! Tums!  
"What a messy hut."  
Then Sesshoumaru, very quietly  
Threw Jaken down not-so-silently.  
"Sleep here tonight, my little fox," He left Jaken there.  
Then took Sango's weapon, not Miroku's tunnel of air.  
(That would have been a mistake and a half,  
But Fluffy did take the lecher-monk's staff)  
Then he threw all the weapons outside in glee  
"And now!" grinned Sesshoumaru, "Tessaiga belongs to me!"  
And Fluffy grabbed the hilt, and started to tug  
When he heard a small sound like the coo of a dove.  
He turned around fast, and saw a small girl  
Little Rinny-Lou-Who, who danced in a whirl.  
Sesshoumaru had been caught by this tiny human child  
Who had come inside for the wind was wild.  
She stared at Fluffy and said, "Ms. Kagome, why?  
Why are you taking Tessaiga? Why?"  
But you know, old Fluffy was so smart and so quick  
He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick.  
"Why you sweet little girl," the fake Kagome lied.  
"There's a edge on this sword that's not sharp on one side.  
So I'm taking it home to my time, my dear.  
I'll fix it up there, and I'll bring it back here."  
And his fib fooled the child. Then he patted her head.  
And he gave her a blanket and sent her to bed.  
And when Rinny-Lou-Who was home to stay  
Sesshuomaru pulled Tessaiga away.  
Then the last thing he took  
Was the sheath to the sword  
Then he went back outside; Jaken screamed, "MY LORD!  
You can't leave me here, I'll be so terribly bored!"  
Sesshoumaru took him  
Then he left the house  
Leaving dead bodies quiet as a mouse.  
Then he went right back  
Back into the house  
Leaving Sango  
And Miroku  
Dead and silent as a mouse.  
It was a quarter past dawn  
Inuyasha still a-bed, Inuyasha still a-snooze  
When Fluffy cackled and said,  
"I took the sword from my brother!  
The sword!  
Father's tooth!  
The sheath!  
And the sword!  
Oh Inuyasha,  
Alas and forsooth!"  
Three thousand feet up, he flew in the sky  
He flew with small Jaken who had begun to cry.  
"Poo poo to Inu," he was evilly humming.  
"He's finding out now victory ain't coming!  
He's just waking up, I know just what he'll do…  
His mouth will hang open a minute or two,  
Then Inuyasha will just cry, 'BOOHOO!'  
That's a noise," grinned Sesshoumaru,  
"That I simply must hear"  
So he paused.  
And Fluffy put a hand to his ear.  
It started in low. Then it started to grow.  
But the sound wasn't sad.  
Why, this sound sounded angry!  
It couldn't be so!  
But it was angry! Very!  
He stared down at the village  
Sesshoumaru popped his eyes  
Then he shook  
What he saw was a shocking surprise!  
Inuyasha down below, not small but tall  
Was growling  
There were no tears at all!  
He hadn't stopped his brother's power from coming  
It came!  
Somehow or other, it came just the same.  
And Fluffy, his dog-self high in the sky  
Stood puzzling and puzzling, "Oh dear Kami WHY?  
It came without Tessaiga! It came without fights!  
It came without demons, Naraku, it's not right!"  
And he puzzled three hours, till his puzzler was sore.  
Then Fluffy thought of something he hadn't before.  
"Maybe my brother," he thought, "Feels something more…  
Maybe my brother, perhaps, loves that human whore!"  
And what happened then?  
In the village they say  
That Fluffy's demon arm  
Fell off right away.  
And the minute it did, his grip oh so tight  
Loosened; Tessaiga fell out of sight.  
He dove down after it, and met a beast…  
Fluffy's Tensaiga healed Inu's friends…  
And youkai Inuyasha had a feast.

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**A/N: Yay. My first submission. I actually wrote this a long time ago, I got the idea from a fanart. If someone has done it already, please don't hate me, I didn't know! I'd appreciate reviews, but no flames pretty please. It's my first try .**


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